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Recent Movie Reviews


The Last Maple Story The Last Maple Story

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

o_('O')_o and I mean it!

Hello thar!

It's been some time since I've seen a decent submission on newgrounds, and I nearly lost hope for anything nice to show up on front page. So, yeah, well I decided to give it one final shot and here I am writing a review right now, so buckle up everyone - here we go.

Let me start with few details, like music. It certainly increased film size but it's ok, since it's (especially menu theme) totally brilliant! First thing I did after hearing this was downloading this particular theme via LimeWire. Other songs were not AS nice, but fit well into the worlds that mixed with maple.

While we are at sound quality - character voices were much above average. I don't know what mic you guys (you guy ;p?) use but it's certainly ain't a cheap one huh :)? The only sounds I honestly hated was when worlds were switching and you inserted TV annoyers. It may actually hurt your ears if they are fragile, and even more if you use headphones.

Now about more important (at least for some?) aspect - the movie it self. Not half bad, some old jokes, but generally nothing should stop you from liking them. Oh, and the cry of haters - there is a huge difference between you and me. I am a critic and you are just whining. It's not like everyone likes the same, but hell... If there was NO joke that made you laugh, not one, then maybe it's time to find your self another web page? Or maybe you need to chill out a lill bit, if you want watch serious films go to the cinema. They have loads of depresing and 'emo' stuff there. Oh by the way - did I mention comedy in theaters are not really funny, especially when using jokes that fit in animated stuff ONLY.

Now for the graphics - great, nice piece of art with slight variations (like when characters change into 'normal' anime, not super deformed). Can't say much about it tho, simple moves, there was no need for much animation so I can't give biggest mark there.

As my review comes to an end (this time it's shorty since the author didn't give me too many reasons to mix this submission with shit :P) I think most of newgrounders should like it. It's still not as awesome as I would like it to be, and it's not "The Greatest Flash" I am trying to find, but hey - not every flash has to end up with 10/10

So this time a solid seven should do

OBJECTION!


People find this review helpful!
CirrusEpix responds:

Thank you for the lengthy review. To be honest, the larger file size is due to all the rendered video I included in the film. As for the mic, yup, its a free with a computer mic. I just have a few tricks and record multiple takes. I agree with you that there are much better animated films out there, but animation was not the selling point to this film. Its super hard to make a film about people standing around talking and then making them feel natural.


Oh Noez Land Shark Oh Noez Land Shark

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

The Asparagus character was great

But if that's how an awesome film's supposed to be I think I'd prefer to watch something old, but entertaining. Don't get me wrong I wasn't expecting to get much fun and so no fun has been given to me.

By a popular request I am to review this submission. And believe me - for the first time I don't know what to write. Can't blame any technical stuff here, since the drawings are, let's say... fine, and the voice narrator is nothing below standard. The only thing I can say, that shouldn't harm anyone is, well, there are still better submissions from the past, including this comedy-like style.

On the other hand Asparagus wasn't bad for a main hero, especially his awesome power shot from tiny arm... Hitting anything would change it to A CLOCK? Are you fucking kidding me ;]? I mean, that's a power blast and you made it a clock maker : D Sweet ;]

Well, all in all I can't really blame this movie, but either can I praise it... It's good thing you made something by your self, not using some fucking Mario/Sonic sprites (which are SOOOO FUCKING BORING and overused). Try improving your work, get some more creative ideas keeping it funny.

5-/10

Randomisation!


Gerkinman responds:

Your english makes no sense.

Randomisation!


Cardboard City Cardboard City

Rated 1 / 5 stars

Turned out to be a waste after all

Ohai! It's been a long time since my last review, but remember - I'm always there, waiting to be summoned. As some of you may know I get the most out of the submission, so I can provide you with solid info on what is worth or not watching (of course I am not telling you what you should/not watch, but hey - you really should watch out). If you're still with me after reading the score and first line then it may mean (but don't get cocky, it's just maybe) that you're not an ordinary New Grounder, you're one of 'them'. What do you mean you don't know? Them, who always have better taste, who can divide cake from dog shit and generally speaking - won't be satisfied with cheap work.

That said let's get to the review. This time I decided to start with good things instead of the crappy ones, in this case it's definitely the pre loader. I think the applause should go to Coolio, as far as I see he has created it. Great job guys, I mean it. If you could upgrade it a lill bit and release it as a different product you really could huge audience. Plain and simple, this mini-game consumed much more of my time than the actual movie it self, I don't mean the loading time (it was secs in my case) but the fact that it really is fun, a thing that the creators of the collab probably forgot about! Oh crap don't tell me the good things ended up already... oh well, it's not like I am to be blamed.

As most of you know, making a good first impression is the key to victory, of course it might not work for more demanding part of public, but generally if the begging is good you are drawn to the film. Unfortunately this submission wasn't impressive in the beginning, or shall I say - not impressive at all. Some may say the art work was good and I can't disagree here, I believe everyone has his preferences (even if they are completely shitty) and blaming the graphics won't do any good, especially that you can create an awesome piece or art without any decent 'modelling' skills. However that doesn't mean you can throw anything inside and get a good score.

Your (authors) basic mistake is - like mentioned before by me, and maaaany other NGers - is that you forgot what the word 'fun' is. The entire submission is soaking with boredom wasting your first (and only if you ask me) big chance to show your stuff to bigger public. You can be praised, you can have front page, daily first, hell you can get even monthly first... But you can't change the fact, that the film sucked like Uwe Boll stuff. Well, maybe not as much, but hey - criticism is never soft. You create something, you show it to people and you have to be aware of 'them' (see 2nd paragraph).

What else - a yes, the Fan boys cry out in pain. "O hey, you know it's not always about fun, some films are suppose to be deap/have a meaning BLA BLA BLA BLA". Bullshit! If you want to give a message it can be deep and entertaining, the '2nd bottom' isn't about making nothing and calling it 'fabulous'! Even if there is anyone out there who thinks this film is deep and makes you think about stuff - HELLO! The impression is ruined by fucking old-as-4chan LAO0OoO0o0O0OZZZZZZzZR joke. Anything else? Maybe add some fart jokes next time, maybe some racist jokes, maybe still away from that LAO0OoO0o0O0OZZZZZZzZR!!!!!!!!111O1N1 O!!!ONEOENOENE

That being said it might seem like I hate producers. But no, I wish them best luck, I wish them more creative ideas, I even have high hopes for them.

But for now

2+

Thank you for your time.


Recent Game Reviews


Balance Ball game Balance Ball game

Rated 2 / 5 stars

...hmm...

not best....but if u see some games simple to this...this one is da best (how to blam....who can tell me?)


Recent Audio Reviews


FYAT Rave FYAT Rave

Rated 5 / 5 stars

O KURWA!

KURWA! KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA KURWA
!



~'{The Power Within}'~ ~'{The Power Within}'~

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Hello thar!

I am not sure, but it reminds me of Final Fantasy. Maybe it's the theme, which is good and similar, but overall I know that it's your work.

It's kind of hard to review music, since I get dozens of different beats and I am not always sure why I like them. My point is - not everyone knows why they like particular song and why not. Sometimes it's just pretending, to fit in some group (like a group of Goth kids) still secretely inside we like stuff we normally don't listen to.

Anyway - a great song, slow at the first glance but then it get's faster, would fit into Ys (a game - google ;p) where classic instruments are mixed with fast paced action themes.

9/10