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All 23 movie Reviews


The Last Maple Story The Last Maple Story

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

o_('O')_o and I mean it!

Hello thar!

It's been some time since I've seen a decent submission on newgrounds, and I nearly lost hope for anything nice to show up on front page. So, yeah, well I decided to give it one final shot and here I am writing a review right now, so buckle up everyone - here we go.

Let me start with few details, like music. It certainly increased film size but it's ok, since it's (especially menu theme) totally brilliant! First thing I did after hearing this was downloading this particular theme via LimeWire. Other songs were not AS nice, but fit well into the worlds that mixed with maple.

While we are at sound quality - character voices were much above average. I don't know what mic you guys (you guy ;p?) use but it's certainly ain't a cheap one huh :)? The only sounds I honestly hated was when worlds were switching and you inserted TV annoyers. It may actually hurt your ears if they are fragile, and even more if you use headphones.

Now about more important (at least for some?) aspect - the movie it self. Not half bad, some old jokes, but generally nothing should stop you from liking them. Oh, and the cry of haters - there is a huge difference between you and me. I am a critic and you are just whining. It's not like everyone likes the same, but hell... If there was NO joke that made you laugh, not one, then maybe it's time to find your self another web page? Or maybe you need to chill out a lill bit, if you want watch serious films go to the cinema. They have loads of depresing and 'emo' stuff there. Oh by the way - did I mention comedy in theaters are not really funny, especially when using jokes that fit in animated stuff ONLY.

Now for the graphics - great, nice piece of art with slight variations (like when characters change into 'normal' anime, not super deformed). Can't say much about it tho, simple moves, there was no need for much animation so I can't give biggest mark there.

As my review comes to an end (this time it's shorty since the author didn't give me too many reasons to mix this submission with shit :P) I think most of newgrounders should like it. It's still not as awesome as I would like it to be, and it's not "The Greatest Flash" I am trying to find, but hey - not every flash has to end up with 10/10

So this time a solid seven should do

OBJECTION!


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CirrusEpix responds:

Thank you for the lengthy review. To be honest, the larger file size is due to all the rendered video I included in the film. As for the mic, yup, its a free with a computer mic. I just have a few tricks and record multiple takes. I agree with you that there are much better animated films out there, but animation was not the selling point to this film. Its super hard to make a film about people standing around talking and then making them feel natural.


Oh Noez Land Shark Oh Noez Land Shark

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

The Asparagus character was great

But if that's how an awesome film's supposed to be I think I'd prefer to watch something old, but entertaining. Don't get me wrong I wasn't expecting to get much fun and so no fun has been given to me.

By a popular request I am to review this submission. And believe me - for the first time I don't know what to write. Can't blame any technical stuff here, since the drawings are, let's say... fine, and the voice narrator is nothing below standard. The only thing I can say, that shouldn't harm anyone is, well, there are still better submissions from the past, including this comedy-like style.

On the other hand Asparagus wasn't bad for a main hero, especially his awesome power shot from tiny arm... Hitting anything would change it to A CLOCK? Are you fucking kidding me ;]? I mean, that's a power blast and you made it a clock maker : D Sweet ;]

Well, all in all I can't really blame this movie, but either can I praise it... It's good thing you made something by your self, not using some fucking Mario/Sonic sprites (which are SOOOO FUCKING BORING and overused). Try improving your work, get some more creative ideas keeping it funny.

5-/10

Randomisation!


Gerkinman responds:

Your english makes no sense.

Randomisation!


Cardboard City Cardboard City

Rated 1 / 5 stars

Turned out to be a waste after all

Ohai! It's been a long time since my last review, but remember - I'm always there, waiting to be summoned. As some of you may know I get the most out of the submission, so I can provide you with solid info on what is worth or not watching (of course I am not telling you what you should/not watch, but hey - you really should watch out). If you're still with me after reading the score and first line then it may mean (but don't get cocky, it's just maybe) that you're not an ordinary New Grounder, you're one of 'them'. What do you mean you don't know? Them, who always have better taste, who can divide cake from dog shit and generally speaking - won't be satisfied with cheap work.

That said let's get to the review. This time I decided to start with good things instead of the crappy ones, in this case it's definitely the pre loader. I think the applause should go to Coolio, as far as I see he has created it. Great job guys, I mean it. If you could upgrade it a lill bit and release it as a different product you really could huge audience. Plain and simple, this mini-game consumed much more of my time than the actual movie it self, I don't mean the loading time (it was secs in my case) but the fact that it really is fun, a thing that the creators of the collab probably forgot about! Oh crap don't tell me the good things ended up already... oh well, it's not like I am to be blamed.

As most of you know, making a good first impression is the key to victory, of course it might not work for more demanding part of public, but generally if the begging is good you are drawn to the film. Unfortunately this submission wasn't impressive in the beginning, or shall I say - not impressive at all. Some may say the art work was good and I can't disagree here, I believe everyone has his preferences (even if they are completely shitty) and blaming the graphics won't do any good, especially that you can create an awesome piece or art without any decent 'modelling' skills. However that doesn't mean you can throw anything inside and get a good score.

Your (authors) basic mistake is - like mentioned before by me, and maaaany other NGers - is that you forgot what the word 'fun' is. The entire submission is soaking with boredom wasting your first (and only if you ask me) big chance to show your stuff to bigger public. You can be praised, you can have front page, daily first, hell you can get even monthly first... But you can't change the fact, that the film sucked like Uwe Boll stuff. Well, maybe not as much, but hey - criticism is never soft. You create something, you show it to people and you have to be aware of 'them' (see 2nd paragraph).

What else - a yes, the Fan boys cry out in pain. "O hey, you know it's not always about fun, some films are suppose to be deap/have a meaning BLA BLA BLA BLA". Bullshit! If you want to give a message it can be deep and entertaining, the '2nd bottom' isn't about making nothing and calling it 'fabulous'! Even if there is anyone out there who thinks this film is deep and makes you think about stuff - HELLO! The impression is ruined by fucking old-as-4chan LAO0OoO0o0O0OZZZZZZzZR joke. Anything else? Maybe add some fart jokes next time, maybe some racist jokes, maybe still away from that LAO0OoO0o0O0OZZZZZZzZR!!!!!!!!111O1N1 O!!!ONEOENOENE

That being said it might seem like I hate producers. But no, I wish them best luck, I wish them more creative ideas, I even have high hopes for them.

But for now

2+

Thank you for your time.



Gunslinger Girl Berserk Gunslinger Girl Berserk

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

It stinks because...

Why, hello there my hated friends, came here by an accident rly, but since I got my hands on this flash I figured that if I am to be a critic then I need to encounter farious types of animations.

Well, I guess this time I have to begin with technical approach, you will probably notice "why" later on. Ok so you open a new window for this movie, youre welcomed with a "boring" preloader. Well - it's nice to you to admit it however I still had enormous 'pleasure' to watch it anyway. Well, actually this wasn't better than anything, you could as well tell 'go get some tea'. Don't get me wrong - my inernet connection is decent but still I belive the loading took way too much time. Anyway, finally thru the 'boring' part I got the option to know something about Gun Slinger. Actually - I am a big fan of Anime and luckyly enuff noone ever forced me to watch this crapp, but I respect (or shall I say - tolerate) the 'others' who like it.

OK - show me the essence of it. And here we have few pages of boring BLAH BLAH BLAH giving me the feeling "it's so great i've never seen this anime". It leaves me thinking Gun Slinger is 'just another anime in the crowd' using everything we've seen and giving nothing to us.

Can't blame you for the suckynes of the anime tho, so let's continue. As the movie started I've encountered another problem. Let me explain it's essence. When you make a flash submission, that has nothing to offer rly (you said your self 'just a remake of first movie') and it kills with it's lack of anything decent throw in some decent music at least. I hate - and probably am not the only one - when there is nothing in the background, especially that there are not many sounds at all.

Reassuming I think 5 is a reasonable score, wanted to give it 4, but you saved my day with the sniper girl... Still it's not a movie I could show any of my buddies while they stay at my place.

Good bye, take care... and well - good luck in future.


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Super Mario bros Z ep 6 Super Mario bros Z ep 6

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

SMBZ - General Conclusion for parts 1-6

*Sighs* well... where do I start *looks at everyone suspiciously* WHAT? Ah, yes... the review.... Actually I belive it's fine if I start with a lill whinin and agony at my soul, clearly this movie had something to do with this but let me start from the whole beginning.

For some time now NG community praise SMBZ like some kind of new God (which is sadly ok, since new religions are blooming out of nowhere recently) and so it bothers me - I mean, what series can stay fun after being torn with sequels... One of this 'decent' days (heavy rain crossing all my freaking city) I said "THIS IS IT, LET ME SEE!" and unfortunately this particular submission is not the series I mentioned above (actually I've been looking for some time now and found none, which probably gives you the idea that there is NO FUCKING WAY to keep decent style for so long).

Now that we are finished with explanations let me get to the very essence, which is...................................
..THE REVIEW!
Pulled a few links here and there and the movie [the SMBZ part 1 actually] was already on my hard drive waiting like a cute dog for his master, to be honest I couldn't wait for it any longer and so - double click, here we go!

The "Z" in the title already had something strange and gave me the feeling of being a lill kid again, watching my then-faved-series Dragon Ball. I must admit - a small tear appeared in my eye but as the movie continued the tear disappeared since this flash is not half as decent as DBZ was. I mean, try to get my point. When I was a brat DBZ was perfect for me, awesome fighting scenes, cool dialogs, nice characters personalities. And now, after all those years someone gives me a sprite movie, trying to make another DBZ. Of course it failed. The fighting scenes not half bad, but... the dialogs... honestly - if i wanted to hear dbz story shortened 1000 times I would recommend the flash but since it's not about it I can only say once again - FAIL!

Ok, great, I've been thru 1st part, let's say I give it 7 but it would be such 'shame' if I left it as it is, so i downloaded parts 2-6. Since part 1 prepared me for the impact, and for the fact that SMBZ is just another copy I wasn't hurt as hard as i should be after watching the rest of your 'story'.

Actually - how many episodes you've once said you want to make ? 20? Well judging how the quality level slipped to this particular episode I should assume that episode 20 would be 30 minutes long commercial spot with 10 secs of mario fighting.

Another thing - WHY MARIO, WHY? WHY IS THIS FUCKING PLUMBER SO POPULAR, WHY IS THIS OLD VIRGIN SO HILARIOUS TO EVERYONE, WHY DOES EVERYONE ENJOY LICKING HIS BALLS? FOR FUCK SAKE Alvin! Take a deep breath... take a deep breath... ok, so... Alvin - why not Dolly the Sheep, or Paulie - the Penis?! Why Mario and sonic, those two particular characters that should have nothing to do with dirty stuff like fighting?

Gee fucking weez.... Please Alvin, please stop doing SMBZ, to be perfectly clear - please stop making sprite animations. There seems to be amazing potential in you, why won't you use to do something creative, something not as long as 6 episodes. Maybe something not even longer than one epsode or two? Maybe not even a flash submission, try different stuff, sports, guitar playing - or if you so wa nt to make movies, buy a camera and bring us the most fucking awesome movie in whole fucking universe. But when you start do not forget - NO MARIO, NO DBZ-LIKE FIGHTING STYLE (which is fast showing 3-6 sprites repeating themselves to be honest). Maybe something deep? Maybe something really funny, a comedy perhaps?

The Universe is full of possibilities, flash isn't the only thing you can be praised for. So - good boy - GO OUT THERE, AND DO IT!

As my review (or actually "General Conclusion") comes to an end - I could make this a normal review, writing about the graphics or how well/bad it was animated, but I got this feeling it isn't necessary. If this PART 6 was some new movie, that has nothing to do with SMBZ.... The 5/10 is score for the whole series, c ya.



Rock Lee Pwnage Rock Lee Pwnage

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Let's be honest

Reviewing a friends work is not an easy task, especcially that to be honest - there is not much to review here so allow me to be brief.

1. New Sprites - finally someone used them, they are much better than old ones although no one seems to notice. People keep using shitty sprites in even worst movies crapping a video in many magic ways.

In this case - it's different. This movie is like a strong, but single kick. It hits your butt, you turn around wishing for a great fight but then it's already over.

The animations are good (and fresh like I said) giving new flash artist (along with 'old fellows') some room to expand. The idea is not really original but then again you can't rly count for a decent plot in a shorty that's just suppose to test your skills and show others how to properly use then.

All in all the movie is nice, decent graphics, no plot (which is actually good in this particullar submission) some humorous actions and ... well - inspirations for others.

I have a habit to name to give names to some submissions, sometimes recommendations and stuff. Here I can only say.

A GREAT TUTORIAL


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DuDuL responds:

Well, greetings trunksssj7.
Responsing friends/long detailed post is hard work... but bah wtf i dont care.
1. What can i say... thx... that paragraph has like 1 sentence to me, rest is about others... so yea... THX... i really mean it lol.

"It's already over." - Dear jonath... of wait tar.. damn.. trunksssj7 you should know BEST... that i like making people unpleased... so yeah...

FINALY SOMEONE NOTICED that this is a short meanth to refresh and test new skills
Much apprecieated br0.

OVERALL... You are a fag... and seriously thx!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>BOOOOOOOOYAAAAAAAAAHHHHH <<<<<<<<<<<<<


Some Random Thing Some Random Thing

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Another parody or?

I've notice there dozens of movie based on showing off with crappy sprites and bad humor appearing recently. Ofc I'm well awared this submission is not very young, actually it's more than a year but the question is - is it a good movie to lead the others? My point is - recent sprite/fun movies are full of shit, stealing ideas and putting it together into a handful of rubbish, however - I guess that's time which made it look so.

Well, let's go to the point, since probably most of newgrounders got bored by whole introduction already. I had 3 different feelings while watching this video:

1. Gentle fun and pleasure, growing from the obvious anger of all used characters.
2. Joyful feeling while the Tetris 'map' ruined.
3. "what the fuck feeling".

Although the first two are preatty obvious let me just explain the last one. While watching your movie I got this feeling a few times. First was the "spin me round" spoof, which would probably make more sense if the sonic actually spinned, like everyone remembers - it can. This sequence takes a bit too long compared to the whole lenght of the movie. Considering how short the submission is anyway I am wondering if that had something to do with you wanting to make this stuff last longer.

Another "What the fuck" came around few other less interesting ideas (compared to the whole submission). and I guess the last one with pac man is the worst thing you could end the movie with. Don't get me wrong - while watching I've had this feeling the film is... imbalanced, 2 people made it but still sometimes it feels like there were more. Some of the ideas are compleately missed, to be honest the last one gives the strongest "bad impression".

It's also possible that you had no idea how to end your stuff so you decided to put pac man... well.... I won't bother you too much about it - just next time please try and make the ending more interesting, so when people watch it they would actually be interested in 2nd part. You know - leaving a good impression.

In the end it seems like I put all my anger into the reviev, but it's only because I don't see the point in explaining 1. and 2. from the upper part of the reviev. If you really want to know - my fav scene is "The strenght argument" Sonic killing the... lill whatever XD And like I said b4 Tetris.

Hum, hum. It seems the only thing I can give is recommendation. The movie is not perfect yet it keeps good, old style, which is now overused. Besides - who or what is [perfect]? Compared to most of NG submission I am really glad I could watch your work.

As the final sentence - The score 7 is really high score in my opinion (I know i have some revievs with 10/10 and "ogmfogmfogmfogmfo the best" but this times are long gone now) I wanted to give you 8 but then again I think 7 AND A HALF suits better.

RECOMMENDATION!


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Neo v Smith Neo v Smith

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

Getting into another fight? No Sir!

You keep acting cool and behave like some kind of a god, ofc I can already see how you comment "Well, I am god of flash" or whatever. However you ought to say things I do not expect to hear that's why that line prolly won't be used. Getting furious already and trying to understand what I mean? Oh my "God" I will get to that point soon enough.

Let mu put it str8 from the whole beginin' I don't care how much efford you put in a movie, a game or whatever damn submission you decide to release. I am here to see the final and official version of your work and sadly I get to see your boring fight.

Don't get me wrong, I've read all your comments, like why you make him jump all the times and why sprites etc. but still I don't feel at easy anyway.
Jumping animation
FINE!
Movement amination
FAIR ENOUGH
Jumping while moving away from invisible attacks
And here we go falling into the ocean of shittines. (Thx ESCAPIST - you are my inspiration).
Again - what can I say, I don't care if it's hard/easy or even fucking impossible to make a long movie without repeiting it self but for god sake if you can't do it simply don't. It's like going to a dentist, showing him which particular tooth hurts and he would remove all but this one.

About the fighting scenes - again repeating it self and again - No one care if it's hard or not to make a fight without any of it but yet I find most of sprites movies do that still it's too obviously and clearly visible in your movie, where Neo (who - looks more like EMO but let's say I won't take any points for that since I dislike the char anyway) simply uses 5 or 6 attacks.

Again - don't get me wrong I am totally aware that in game you have few freaking buttons and when you go around killing stuff you use only few attacks but - yet again THIS IS NO FUCKING GAME! This is a submission you are proud of and have lots of people suck yur ass for it even tho they don't really seem to say more than "OMFGOFMOGFMOGMFOGMOF THIS MOVIE FUCKING ROCKS!"

Also as my review comes to an end I would appreciateif you respond and not only here but in my inbox. That's mainly coss I am sure entering this submission once again would be rude and impolite since i mixed you with a pile of shit and 2ndly if you actually leave o comment then I will be able to streighten up the bullshit respond like you did with most of lower scores.

All in all revieving this stuff was much more plesant than actualling watching the video, which probably gives you the image of how fucked up and bad it is. At the first moment there i wanted to give you 4 stars but one of them was quickly torn away by the way you act thinking your cool and "showing fucking noobs" where their place is.



This Is Spa..Erm. Madness This Is Spa..Erm. Madness

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Madness!?

This rly is madness!!!!

C u in two days time dudul ;]



MarcyVF's New Grounds MarcyVF's New Grounds

Rated 4 / 5 stars

What the...

The movie is prtt cool made, but I am just asking my self - why the heck kissing admins ass and such give people front page.... oh well, not like I care too much - haven't made any flash in my life, and not planning to do it anytime soon....

Well - nice anymation anyways, keep up the good work